We Ain't Ever Gettin' Older
by narutokid16
Summary: Jude and Connor reunite at a party in a hotel in downtown San Diego. What will happen when they see one another after an extended period apart? Tensions run high and more of their lives post-break-up is explored briefly in this story. There are two endings because I couldn't decide which I liked better, so I shall be posting both endings. Let me know how you like them.
1. Ending 1

We Ain't Ever Gettin' Older

Jude and Connor haven't seen each other in years, what happens when they run into each other at a hotel bar? Will feelings resurface, will tensions run high?

"Thanks." The door to the cab shuts as long legs stride up to the entrance of the hotel then towards the spot he was supposed to meet her.

"YOU MADE IT!" She screamed from the corner of the room. A young-looking woman trotted over to the taller young man, flinging her arms around him once they neared one another.

They shared a warm embrace before pulling apart and taking in the other's appearance. The young woman playfully teased him about his appearance, saying he'd grown up since heading off to college. He'd changed his hair and finally defined what his style was. He'd also branched out and made friends.

The pair moved towards the elevator to head up to the top floor where more party goers waited but the young woman stopped near the bar near the front desk to check a text. The young man stopped behind her, looking around at the hotel guests meandering about; some strutting off towards some other part of the huge building, some sitting on a sofa and playing on their phones, some grabbing a drink at the bar beside them.

As his gaze came to rest on the figures standing near the bar, his eyes caught sight of a familiar figure downing the rest of a beer. He set the empty bottle on the bar top, thanking the bartender for clearing the waste for him. The man's eyes swung up from his seat, briefly catching his. They stared at each other for what seemed like eons, but it was barely 10 seconds. Soon the woman was pulling him into the elevator and being taken up to the floor the party was on.

As they exited the elevator, the woman noticed that her guest was looking a tad off. "Hey, are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Yea, I'm fine." He lied. He recognized the man at the bar. He'd never thought he'd see him again.

He tried to brush off the feeling as he walked into the crowded room. Music was thumping, and drinks were flowing. People were dancing and chatting in various spots around the room. He followed the young woman up to the counter, letting his gaze bounce around the room as she mixed drinks for the both of them and handed the young man his. He wasn't really the party type but when his sister invited him to a get-together in a hotel downtown, he couldn't help but say yes.

"How is it?" she asked with a smile playing at her lips. She knew he like drinks that masked the taste of alcohol, so she made him one that tasted like candy.

"I like it." He smiled back.

"Go mingle." She nudged him into the crowd. Jude looked back at her nervously before walking up to a group of people, almost seamlessly ingratiating himself into their conversation. She nodded. "Good to see that your time at college has made you more social, little brother." She flipped her hair over her shoulder before going to mingle among the familiar faces.

He never expected to see him again. He'd went to live with his mom while they were still dating but they broke up shortly after that. He dated other people off and on before opting to just live a single life. He came home from college in Boulder, Colorado and was invited to a party by one of his friends from his old middle school. He was down stairs, taking a short break from the action in the hotel room. He was about to rejoin the festivities on the upper floors when he locked eyes with him. It was brief, but it was powerful.

A sigh escaped his lips as his weight rested against the wall of the elevator. Mental preparation was underway as denim-clad legs strode down the carpeted hallway and up to the wooden door. He took a breath before re-entering the room full of noisy party-goers. He went straight for the impromptu bar that was the center of attention. A drink – a stiff one – was needed after the little reunion at the bar.

He made a concoction that could have easily been mistaken for nail polish remover upon first inhale. He downed half of it in a single gulp, letting the shockwave that was the aftertaste wash over him. He felt more at ease as the alcohol pooled in his stomach. A quick glance around the room soon shattered that feeling. There, mingling with some random girl, was his ex.

Some cosmic force must have whispered in his ear and bade him to cast his gaze to his right, because at that moment, he looked up and their eyes met. They took in how much the other had changed since they were last together.

Connor was taller, his jawline more defined, his hair still in the same boyish style that he had it in since his days in middle school. His shoulders were broader, and his sense of style had evolved from preppy-functional-beach bum, to some punk-biker crossover. However, one thing hadn't changed; and that was the shimmer in his light brown eyes. Connor still held that same, unmistakable glimmer was there, and it made Jude crave those times they had back in middle school. His knees went weak for a moment before he regained his composure.

Connor was speechless; there Jude stood in all his awkward glory. He had changed a lot since they had parted ways; however, Jude still seemed to be like that awkward, quiet kid he met back at Anchor Beach. His style had clearly evolved into one more befitting of a young man attending college. Preppy was the first word that came to mind and honestly, that suited the Jude that Connor had left behind.

Their staring match went on for a few more seconds before Jude darted further into the crowd. Connor mentally kicked himself before moving to follow him. Before he could get through the crowd, Mariana was in his face, glaring at him. The hatred in he eyes spoke volumes before she could even open her mouth; Connor knew that he had broken Jude's heart and that his family was none too happy with him.

"Why are you here?"

"Because I was invited. I need to talk to Jude." Connor looked over Mariana's head to see if he could spot where Jude vanished to.

"No. You're not going anywhere near him. He's over you."

"Mariana, please." She just glared up at him, rooted in her current spot. Connor sighed heavily. "Look, you can't keep us apart the entire night. If Jude wants to talk to me, he can. He's old enough to make his own choices."

"Connor, you know how tenacious I am. If I set my mind to something, I will not stop until it's done."

"I know…I also know that our breakup didn't go well. I thought that I could move on…but…"

 _Connor sat on the edge of his bed watching yet another stranger doze peacefully. He had met him at a party and thought he'd make a decent conquest for that evening. He was mediocre at best. He ran a hand through his hair before moving to take a shower. His guest stirred a bit when the showerhead roared to life. He didn't really care if he woke him, he just wanted him, to take his leave at this point._

 _His mind was awash with the events of last night as well as nights past, but he kept coming back to the same place: a deep pit filled with anguish and regret. He hated that he'd lost Jude back in middle school and, if he had to be honest with himself, he had been trying to fill the void left behind by him. His efforts were fruitless. Jude was always tugging at his thoughts and the memories that flooded to the forefront of his mind made him hate the life he was making for himself more and more with every passing day. Each sexual conquest left him feeling more drained than satisfied._

 _His first relationship after Jude was moderately fulfilling, however, his next boyfriend was leagues away from Jude. He knew that that was to be expected, but he still missed what they shared. He'd thought about reaching out to him. He'd thought about it many times, but he had no idea where to start. 'Hey, Jude. It's only been about six or so years, how are you?' As if._

 _He stepped out of the shower and saw last night's companion getting dressed, barely listening to him mumble about having to get to a lecture or something. He rushed out with shirt, jacket, and boots in hand. He was finally alone in his room, left to think about all the meaningless sex he'd had, left to think about all the failed relationships he'd been in, and left to think about the one that got away._

Connor looked at the room Jude had vanished into one last time before walking away. Mariana breathed a sigh of relief before going to hunt down her brother. She found him standing on the balcony, still sipping his drink.

"Hey. You alright?"

Silence hung in the air for a few minutes and Mariana contemplated leaving. "I'm…I'm okay. Seeing him was a shock to say the least."

She rubbed his back soothingly. "Do you want me to keep him away from you tonight?"

Jude stood silently for a few minutes before shaking his head. "I don't know what I want. Part of me wants to run to him and tell him everything I've been holding inside me since we broke up and the other part of me wants to punch him in the face." He downed more of his drink as he looked out at the cityscape, trying to organize his thoughts. "Can I have some space?"

She nodded before returning to the party. Jude sighed to himself as his thoughts carried him away.

" _Are you sure this is a good idea?"_

" _Yea! Best way to get over someone, is to get under someone else." Jesus nodded as he nudged Jude in the ribs._

 _Jude just rolled his eyes as they walked into the party. Jesus immediately got scooped up by his friends from the wrestling team and dragged off towards the kitchen, leaving Jude standing awkwardly in the entryway. He took a survey of the people within his field of vision and decided to just go sit somewhere out of the way until Jesus was ready to go._

 _About an hour after he found a secluded spot on the landing of the staircase, someone trudged up to him, breaking the spell cast on him by his phone. "Hey."_

" _Um, hi."_

" _What are you doing over here all by yourself? Not a party person, I take it?"_

" _Not really, my brother dragged me here."_

 _The stranger sat down next to him, peering at the dimly lit screen Jude had been fixated on. "What are you playing?"_

" _Just some dumb game." Jude locked his phone before tucking it in his pocket. "What are you doing up here?"_

" _I saw you vanish after getting here and I've been casually looking for you. I thought you were cute."_

 _Jude's head snapped to meet this stranger's gaze. "What?"_

" _You're cute. I'm Mario."_

" _Jude." Not long after they had introduced themselves, Mario was pressing his lips to Jude's. Jude was taken aback but soon gave in to the slow, meticulous motion of their lips._

 _Mario's hands threaded through Jude's hair before moving to grip the sides of his shirt. He pulled Jude onto him before wrapping his arms around the lean frame lying between his legs. Jude's mind was a flurry of emotions and feelings, the most prominent one was a strange mix of regret and sorrow. Memories he'd wished he could forget were rushing to the forefront of his mind, and that made the current situation he found himself in moot and unappealing. Mario was attractive in every sense of the word; however, Jude was not resonating with him. He'd just met him, and they'd spoken for all of two minutes before they started making out._

 _A sudden sense of claustrophobia set upon Jude and before he could help himself, he was rushing away from Mario, apologizing profusely and offering some weak explanation. The air was thick and heavy until he'd found his way outside. He perched on the curb a few yards away from the entrance and let himself dive headlong into what his heart had been harboring. It wasn't about Mario, it wasn't about Noah; it was about Connor. It had always been about Connor. Jude had been doing better but sometimes things always circled around to his first love. He hated how hung up he was on Connor, and did his best to get over him, but some things…were just there to stay._

"It always comes back to you…" Jude sighed. He finished his drink before returning to the party.

He found Mariana and told her he was going to stop by a store down the street and come back. She nodded before hugging him and letting him go on his way. Connor saw the exchange and waited until Jude's bodyguard had moved away from the door before making his move. He made it down to the street, looking around to try and find Jude.

He looked to his right and caught sight of him putting on his coat. "Jude!"

He stopped and turned around, eyeing the man who called his name. He didn't know what to say and apparently neither did Connor. He didn't think he would ever get the chance to talk to him with Mariana guarding him. Now that he was faced with Jude's blank stare, he had no idea what to do.

"Jude…I…" Connor tried to say something, he tried to say anything besides Jude's name, but his mouth went dry.

Jude just shook his head and resumed his brisk pace in the opposite direction. Connor had to will himself to move, his legs felt as if they were weighed down by boulders. Eventually he caught up to Jude, putting himself between his old flame and his destination.

"What do you want, Connor?" Jude asked looking away from him.

"I…how are you?"

"I'm fine. Is that all?"

Connor's heart broke a little. "You look good."

"Th-thanks. You too." Jude glanced at the ground as he spoke.

They stood there, awkwardly shuffling their feet and avoiding eye contact. "Can we talk?"

"After all this time, you want to talk? After not seeing me or reaching out to me for years, you come up to me with some weak opener, then ask to talk?" Jude shook his head before folding his arms and turning away from Connor.

Connor tentatively placed his hand on Jude's arm. "Please. I think we both know we need to have a talk."

Jude mulled over his choices before nodding to himself. "Yes. We do." The confidence in his voice visibly shocked Connor, but he nodded nonetheless before leading them to a nearby fountain. "Talk."

"I'm sorry."

"For?"

"The way things ended between us. In all honesty, my love life has been a train wreck since we broke up. Every relationship I've been in has ended badly and after that, I just started hooking up with random people and the void I felt inside me grew…I missed us, Jude. I missed you. You were my first love. I haven't felt like that about anyone since." Connor stopped to rub his hands over his face. "I know that what we went through was unforgettable and a simple apology can't fix it, but I wanted to tell you, I am very sorry."

Jude sat with his arms folded, staring straight ahead at the dancing waters before him, taking in everything Connor had said. He sighed as he raked a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry too. One of us could have been the mature one and reached out, I guess I was waiting for you to do so and after seeing you and your new boyfriend online, I figured you wanted nothing to do with me." They shared a look. "My love life hasn't been much better. Noah was nice, but he wasn't who I wanted to be with."

"Jude…"

He held up his hand. "Don't. I'm not looking for sympathy. I guess…I just want closure. I never really got the closure I needed."

"If you have any questions, ask away."

"Do you still love m-"

"Yes. I do."

"Okay…why did you never reach out to me?"

"I thought you hated me and never wanted to speak to me again."

"Quite the opposite. I wanted nothing more than to hear from you…even while I was dating Noah."

"I'm sorry for that. I wanted to, I almost did time after time, but I stopped myself."

"Did you know I'd be here?"

"Not at all. I was invited here to decompress while I was home, and I got the shock of my life seeing you and Mariana headed towards the elevator."

"One last question, and I want total honesty."

"Of course."

"Did you regret breaking up with me?" Jude looked at Connor with tears welling in his eyes, searching for the truth in his former flame's face.

Connor pressed his forehead to Jude's, taking his hand in his own. "Everyday. I missed you so much."

"Connor…"

"I'm so sorry."

Jude silently sobbed, still only a hair's breadth away from Connor, and Connor let him. He knew that the best thing he could do for Jude was just be there for him right now. Jude gripped his hand tighter than he wanted to admit, but he was hurting. He was confused. Something inside him had longed for those words and the weight that had been lifted off him felt immense.

Connor looked up at Jude. He leaned in for a kiss, but Jude shied away. "Connor…please don't."

"But…I thought…"

"No…I…I don't think getting back together would be a good idea. We're both different people and we've changed since going to Anchor Beach."

"That's exactly why I think we'd be good together. We're older, more mature, wiser."

"We might be; however, I don't think us getting back together is the smartest idea."

"I…okay…I respect your decision." Connor kissed Jude on the cheek before standing. "My number hasn't changed." Connor said as he scribbled on a scrap of paper. He folded it and placed it on the bench next to Jude. "If you want to keep in touch, text me. I'd like to hear from you." Jude nodded. "Take care of yourself. If this is the last time I hear from you, I'll just leave you with this; I'm sorry for what happened between us, and I sincerely hope you reach all the potential I see in you." With that, Connor headed away from where Jude was sitting. A tear rolled down his cheek, but he smiled, happy that he got to see the man that his former flame was blossoming into.

"Take care of yourself, Connor." Jude whispered as he looked at the scrap of paper.


	2. Ending 2

We Ain't Ever Gettin' Older

Jude and Connor haven't seen each other in years, what happens when they run into each other at a hotel bar? Will feelings resurface, will tensions run high?

"Thanks." The door to the cab shuts as long legs stride up to the entrance of the hotel then towards the spot he was supposed to meet her.

"YOU MADE IT!" She screamed from the corner of the room. A young-looking woman trotted over to the taller young man, flinging her arms around him once they neared one another.

They shared a warm embrace before pulling apart and taking in the other's appearance. The young woman playfully teased him about his appearance, saying he'd grown up since heading off to college. He'd changed his hair and finally defined what his style was. He'd also branched out and made friends.

The pair moved towards the elevator to head up to the top floor where more party goers waited but the young woman stopped near the bar near the front desk to check a text. The young man stopped behind her, looking around at the hotel guests meandering about; some strutting off towards some other part of the huge building, some sitting on a sofa and playing on their phones, some grabbing a drink at the bar beside them.

As his gaze came to rest on the figures standing near the bar, his eyes caught sight of a familiar figure downing the rest of a beer. He set the empty bottle on the bar top, thanking the bartender for clearing the waste for him. The man's eyes swung up from his seat, briefly catching his. They stared at each other for what seemed like eons, but it was barely 10 seconds. Soon the woman was pulling him into the elevator and being taken up to the floor the party was on.

As they exited the elevator, the woman noticed that her guest was looking a tad off. "Hey, are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Yea, I'm fine." He lied. He recognized the man at the bar. He'd never thought he'd see him again.

He tried to brush off the feeling as he walked into the crowded room. Music was thumping, and drinks were flowing. People were dancing and chatting in various spots around the room. He followed the young woman up to the counter, letting his gaze bounce around the room as she mixed drinks for the both of them and handed the young man his. He wasn't really the party type but when his sister invited him to a get-together in a hotel downtown, he couldn't help but say yes.

"How is it?" she asked with a smile playing at her lips. She knew he like drinks that masked the taste of alcohol, so she made him one that tasted like candy.

"I like it." He smiled back.

"Go mingle." She nudged him into the crowd. Jude looked back at her nervously before walking up to a group of people, almost seamlessly ingratiating himself into their conversation. She nodded. "Good to see that your time at college has made you more social, little brother." She flipped her hair over her shoulder before going to mingle among the familiar faces.

He never expected to see him again. He'd went to live with his mom while they were still dating but they broke up shortly after that. He dated other people off and on before opting to just live a single life. He came home from college in Boulder, Colorado and was invited to a party by one of his friends from his old middle school. He was down stairs, taking a short break from the action in the hotel room. He was about to rejoin the festivities on the upper floors when he locked eyes with him. It was brief, but it was powerful.

A sigh escaped his lips as his weight rested against the wall of the elevator. Mental preparation was underway as denim-clad legs strode down the carpeted hallway and up to the wooden door. He took a breath before re-entering the room full of noisy party-goers. He went straight for the impromptu bar that was the center of attention. A drink – a stiff one – was needed after the little reunion at the bar.

He made a concoction that could have easily been mistaken for nail polish remover upon first inhale. He downed half of it in a single gulp, letting the shockwave that was the aftertaste wash over him. He felt more at ease as the alcohol pooled in his stomach. A quick glance around the room soon shattered that feeling. There, mingling with some random girl, was his ex.

Some cosmic force must have whispered in his ear and bade him to cast his gaze to his right, because at that moment, he looked up and their eyes met. They took in how much the other had changed since they were last together.

Connor was taller, his jawline more defined, his hair still in the same boyish style that he had it in since his days in middle school. His shoulders were broader, and his sense of style had evolved from preppy-functional-beach bum, to some punk-biker crossover. However, one thing hadn't changed; and that was the shimmer in his light brown eyes. Connor still held that same, unmistakable glimmer was there, and it made Jude crave those times they had back in middle school. His knees went weak for a moment before he regained his composure.

Connor was speechless; there Jude stood in all his awkward glory. He had changed a lot since they had parted ways; however, Jude still seemed to be like that awkward, quiet kid he met back at Anchor Beach. His style had clearly evolved into one more befitting of a young man attending college. Preppy was the first word that came to mind and honestly, that suited the Jude that Connor had left behind.

Their staring match went on for a few more seconds before Jude darted further into the crowd. Connor mentally kicked himself before moving to follow him. Before he could get through the crowd, Mariana was in his face, glaring at him. The hatred in he eyes spoke volumes before she could even open her mouth; Connor knew that he had broken Jude's heart and that his family was none too happy with him.

"Why are you here?"

"Because I was invited. I need to talk to Jude." Connor looked over Mariana's head to see if he could spot where Jude vanished to.

"No. You're not going anywhere near him. He's over you."

"Mariana, please." She just glared up at him, rooted in her current spot. Connor sighed heavily. "Look, you can't keep us apart the entire night. If Jude wants to talk to me, he can. He's old enough to make his own choices."

"Connor, you know how tenacious I am. If I set my mind to something, I will not stop until it's done."

"I know…I also know that our breakup didn't go well. I thought that I could move on…but…"

 _Connor sat on the edge of his bed watching yet another stranger doze peacefully. He had met him at a party and thought he'd make a decent conquest for that evening. He was mediocre at best. He ran a hand through his hair before moving to take a shower. His guest stirred a bit when the showerhead roared to life. He didn't really care if he woke him, he just wanted him, to take his leave at this point._

 _His mind was awash with the events of last night as well as nights past, but he kept coming back to the same place: a deep pit filled with anguish and regret. He hated that he'd lost Jude back in middle school and, if he had to be honest with himself, he had been trying to fill the void left behind by him. His efforts were fruitless. Jude was always tugging at his thoughts and the memories that flooded to the forefront of his mind made him hate the life he was making for himself more and more with every passing day. Each sexual conquest left him feeling more drained than satisfied._

 _His first relationship after Jude was moderately fulfilling, however, his next boyfriend was leagues away from Jude. He knew that that was to be expected, but he still missed what they shared. He'd thought about reaching out to him. He'd thought about it many times, but he had no idea where to start. 'Hey, Jude. It's only been about six or so years, how are you?' As if._

 _He stepped out of the shower and saw last night's companion getting dressed, barely listening to him mumble about having to get to a lecture or something. He rushed out with shirt, jacket, and boots in hand. He was finally alone in his room, left to think about all the meaningless sex he'd had, left to think about all the failed relationships he'd been in, and left to think about the one that got away._

Connor looked at the room Jude had vanished into one last time before walking away. Mariana breathed a sigh of relief before going to hunt down her brother. She found him standing on the balcony, still sipping his drink.

"Hey. You alright?"

Silence hung in the air for a few minutes and Mariana contemplated leaving. "I'm…I'm okay. Seeing him was a shock to say the least."

She rubbed his back soothingly. "Do you want me to keep him away from you tonight?"

Jude stood silently for a few minutes before shaking his head. "I don't know what I want. Part of me wants to run to him and tell him everything I've been holding inside me since we broke up and the other part of me wants to punch him in the face." He downed more of his drink as he looked out at the cityscape, trying to organize his thoughts. "Can I have some space?"

She nodded before returning to the party. Jude sighed to himself as his thoughts carried him away.

" _Are you sure this is a good idea?"_

" _Yea! Best way to get over someone, is to get under someone else." Jesus nodded as he nudged Jude in the ribs._

 _Jude just rolled his eyes as they walked into the party. Jesus immediately got scooped up by his friends from the wrestling team and dragged off towards the kitchen, leaving Jude standing awkwardly in the entryway. He took a survey of the people within his field of vision and decided to just go sit somewhere out of the way until Jesus was ready to go._

 _About an hour after he found a secluded spot on the landing of the staircase, someone trudged up to him, breaking the spell cast on him by his phone. "Hey."_

" _Um, hi."_

" _What are you doing over here all by yourself? Not a party person, I take it?"_

" _Not really, my brother dragged me here."_

 _The stranger sat down next to him, peering at the dimly lit screen Jude had been fixated on. "What are you playing?"_

" _Just some dumb game." Jude locked his phone before tucking it in his pocket. "What are you doing up here?"_

" _I saw you vanish after getting here and I've been casually looking for you. I thought you were cute."_

 _Jude's head snapped to meet this stranger's gaze. "What?"_

" _You're cute. I'm Mario."_

" _Jude." Not long after they had introduced themselves, Mario was pressing his lips to Jude's. Jude was taken aback but soon gave in to the slow, meticulous motion of their lips._

 _Mario's hands threaded through Jude's hair before moving to grip the sides of his shirt. He pulled Jude onto him before wrapping his arms around the lean frame lying between his legs. Jude's mind was a flurry of emotions and feelings, the most prominent one was a strange mix of regret and sorrow. Memories he'd wished he could forget were rushing to the forefront of his mind, and that made the current situation he found himself in moot and unappealing. Mario was attractive in every sense of the word; however, Jude was not resonating with him. He'd just met him, and they'd spoken for all of two minutes before they started making out._

 _A sudden sense of claustrophobia set upon Jude and before he could help himself, he was rushing away from Mario, apologizing profusely and offering some weak explanation. The air was thick and heavy until he'd found his way outside. He perched on the curb a few yards away from the entrance and let himself dive headlong into what his heart had been harboring. It wasn't about Mario, it wasn't about Noah; it was about Connor. It had always been about Connor. Jude had been doing better but sometimes things always circled around to his first love. He hated how hung up he was on Connor, and did his best to get over him, but some things…were just there to stay._

"It always comes back to you…" Jude sighed. He finished his drink before returning to the party.

He found Mariana and told her he was going to stop by a store down the street and come back. She nodded before hugging him and letting him go on his way. Connor saw the exchange and waited until Jude's bodyguard had moved away from the door before making his move. He made it down to the street, looking around to try and find Jude.

He looked to his right and caught sight of him putting on his coat. "Jude!"

He stopped and turned around, eyeing the man who called his name. He didn't know what to say and apparently neither did Connor. He didn't think he would ever get the chance to talk to him with Mariana guarding him. Now that he was faced with Jude's blank stare, he had no idea what to do.

"Jude…I…" Connor tried to say something, he tried to say anything besides Jude's name, but his mouth went dry.

Jude just shook his head and resumed his brisk pace in the opposite direction. Connor had to will himself to move, his legs felt as if they were weighed down by boulders. Eventually he caught up to Jude, putting himself between his old flame and his destination.

"What do you want, Connor?" Jude asked looking away from him.

"I…how are you?"

"I'm fine. Is that all?"

Connor's heart broke a little. "You look good."

"Th-thanks. You too." Jude glanced at the ground as he spoke.

They stood there, awkwardly shuffling their feet and avoiding eye contact. "Can we talk?"

"After all this time, you want to talk? After not seeing me or reaching out to me for years, you come up to me with some weak opener, then ask to talk?" Jude shook his head before folding his arms and turning away from Connor.

Connor tentatively placed his hand on Jude's arm. "Please. I think we both know we need to have a talk."

Jude mulled over his choices before nodding to himself. "Yes. We do." The confidence in his voice visibly shocked Connor, but he nodded nonetheless before leading them to a nearby fountain. "Talk."

"I'm sorry."

"For?"

"The way things ended between us. In all honesty, my love life has been a train wreck since we broke up. Every relationship I've been in has ended badly and after that, I just started hooking up with random people and the void I felt inside me grew…I missed us, Jude. I missed you. You were my first love. I haven't felt like that about anyone since." Connor stopped to rub his hands over his face. "I know that what we went through was unforgettable and a simple apology can't fix it, but I wanted to tell you, I am very sorry."

Jude sat with his arms folded, staring straight ahead at the dancing waters before him, taking in everything Connor had said. He sighed as he raked a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry too. One of us could have been the mature one and reached out, I guess I was waiting for you to do so and after seeing you and your new boyfriend online, I figured you wanted nothing to do with me." They shared a look. "My love life hasn't been much better. Noah was nice, but he wasn't who I wanted to be with."

"Jude…"

He held up his hand. "Don't. I'm not looking for sympathy. I guess…I just want closure. I never really got the closure I needed."

"If you have any questions, ask away."

"Do you still love m-"

"Yes. I do."

"Okay…why did you never reach out to me?"

"I thought you hated me and never wanted to speak to me again."

"Quite the opposite. I wanted nothing more than to hear from you…even while I was dating Noah."

"I'm sorry for that. I wanted to, I almost did time after time, but I stopped myself."

"Did you know I'd be here?"

"Not at all. I was invited here to decompress while I was home, and I got the shock of my life seeing you and Mariana headed towards the elevator."

"One last question, and I want total honesty."

"Of course."

"Did you regret breaking up with me?" Jude looked at Connor with tears welling in his eyes, searching for the truth in his former flame's face.

Connor pressed his forehead to Jude's, taking his hand in his own. "Everyday. I missed you so much."

"Connor…"

"I'm so sorry."

Jude silently sobbed, still only a hair's breadth away from Connor, and Connor let him. He knew that the best thing he could do for Jude was just be there for him right now. Jude gripped his hand tighter than he wanted to admit, but he was hurting. He was confused. Something inside him had longed for those words and the weight that had been lifted off him felt immense, but something still felt wrong. He peered up at Connor, letting their eyes meet briefly before he leaned in. The kiss was long overdue. It felt right. Connor broke the kiss to pull Jude in for a hug, and as soon as he felt his embrace returned, he began crying himself.

"So, what now?" Jude asked as his head rested on Connor's shoulder.

He pulled them apart. "I…I don't know. I would like to start talking again, maybe…get back together?"

"One step at a time. Let's see how the rest of the evening goes before we start going out again."

"Fair enough." Connor chuckled. "Can we…" Jude pulled him in for another kiss before laughing himself. "You're an idiot."

"Agreed."


End file.
